Okay now, being raised by my Grandparents, instead of my parents (who where too busy having adulterous affairs to bring up a kid properly) have given me a lot of bad experiences to discuss eventually with my therapyst (and also providing him a brand new car, gladly to his and sadly to my personal expenses).
But one particular thing comes above it all: their constant forbiding. I could not talk on the phone after 8 pm. Could not attend to school out rides (including museums and parks). Could not go to my colleagues’ homes not even to do social school works and researches. Could not receive friends in my own house. Could not receive a phone call if the speaker´s voice as male (and that was a REAL problem once my best high school girl friend had a boyish, throat voice). And their worst lectures were all about things, now pay attention, dear readers, that today, at age of 28, I STILL HAVE NEVER DONE.
For example: Once, aged 16, I asked my grandfather if I could attend to my best friend´s 15 years old (that means, a débutant) party, that would take place some 15 blocks away my own home. Nedless to say, if a lift was not provided (since we used to have 2 cars parketd at our own garage and many guests would go with parents, assuring many other cars too) a cab would easily do that distance without being too expensive (yeah, spending money at “useless events” used to be a great deal too). Wisely – perhaps not so – I asked/begged/cried for an outstand up to 10 pm, when it was obvious the ball would finish about 2 am. And what the answer? Obviously, not. First, the entire idea was bullshit. Second, why spend such time outside when it was so warm inside? Third, that party would be a TOTAL FREAKING MESS with free drugs, abundant alcohol and sex in the bathroom corridor. Fourth, and that is the major point, I WAS SO GETTING PREGNANT IN THAT PARTY, and my grandfather was too old to bring up another bastard kid.
Got it? I think the example above did the trick. But, correct me if I am wrong, last time I checked, I was not pregnant and ilegal drugs have never touched my inner system. Plus, today I do go out at parties that finish at 2 am, can legally buy as much alcohol and cigars as I wish, and also have a small but interesting list of ex dates with whom I could have gone as far as I wished to (for all of them obviously always wished to… you know. With or without me!) Oh, did I mention I already know 7 foreign countries, and always returned home in one piece? Yeah. I am AWESOME.
What´s the lesson to be learned here? KNOW YOUR KIDS. Look at them, know who they are or how they are before speaking nonsense crap they will have to pay a lot of money to learn how to cope with. Of course, I am the first one to admit kids must be advertised or even kept away from a lot of perils, but the speech must be connected to must-avoid behaviours based on their TRUE characters, necessarily. Duh.