Why cannot we talk anymore?

Beloved soulmate,

I tried, Lord only knows how much I did try. Not only once, but many, many times. Many gently touches, many thoughthful gifts. I gave you my heart, my hands, my voice. My naked body, my moist hair, my twisted tongue. All I could, all I had. Too late, only to find out I had missed my spot only five seconds before. I just failed. I never lost you, because I never had you, actually. What is love then, a blessing or a curse. I’ d say both.

That’ s the reason why I think we better talk never again. Only in Dreams, and even there, there is no avaliable spot beyond the sky lights.


Intolerância nas redes sociais – II

Faz um tempo, postei uma reclamação sobre a falta de privacidade no Google +. Pesquisando algumas ferramentas do próprio servidor, descobri maneiras de me precaver de grosserias. No entanto, desde então, não deixo de atentar-me para comentários potencialmente ofensivos que as pessoas têm deixado, pasmem, em suas próprias páginas. Atualmente, além da questão dos maus tratos a animais, o que costuma suscitar comentários intolerantes e, tenho de admitir, algo extremistas, é a preferência religiosa.

Comentários como: “quem escreveu isso não tem deus no coração”, “não merece viver quem pensa assim” e “não acredito que existem pessoas que pensam desta forma”  sugerem as seguintes perguntas:

1) Você acha mesmo que pode concluir a maneira de ser/pensar de outro ser humano baseado apenas e tão-somente em um post?!

2) Presumindo que sim, você está preparado para assinar uma sentença de morte/danação perpétua a este pobre indivíduo?!

3) Tomando por base que há um Deus que criou tantas pessoas e maravilhas, qual a grande surpresa em existirem tantos enfoques e conclusões possíveis para uma mesma questão?

Bom, é isso. Quem souber a resposta, por favor, encaminhe!

Plus: Dicionário de termos relacionados às redes sociais, em seu real uso nas web, não em seus respectivos significados enciclopédicos, portanto:

Adicionar = afirmar como amigo gente cuja existência nem foi bem comprovada.

Comentar = externar impressões nem sempre precisas/compreensíveis sobre temas nos quais um individuo se crê  (e autointitula)  expert.

Dialogar =  emitir a própria opinião ignorando grosseiramente pontos de vistas alheios.

Gramática = uma função acessória do Windows Word que deve ser ignorada na rede social, sob pena de ostracismo, ser catalogado como “nerd” e perda massiva de seguidores.

Hipócrita = li tantas, mas tantas vezes essa palavra, em tantos contextos diferentes, que seu significado deve, portanto, abarcar desde aquele que se utiliza de ironia/sarcasmo, até aquele em cujo texto transparece o mais sutil uso de recurso estilístico.

Humilde = quem tem a mesma opinião que você.

Becoming Jane (2009)

During my late teenager years, I have come to the conclusion the dramas I had in my daily life were nothing compared to Jane Austen´s heroins ones. Plus, If I was not able to enter Law School, at least I could read Mansfield Park and Persuasion, entirely, in its original versions.

But now, watching this movie that wrongly summarizes most of romantic events of Jane Austen´s life within only one year (which is not absolutely true, although perfectly fits their theather tickets selling goals), it comes to mind, had she gone with Thomas LeFroy, the Irish friend mentioned in many of her letters adressed to her sister/best friend Cassandra, would many of her fantastic characters still exist to wipe the tears away of  so many brokenhearted girls as well as decribe the penalties of society upon unmarried, not-lucky-enough-to-have-a -decent-dowry gals?

One of the most dramatic scenes happens when Jane is packing her few belongings to run away with Tom, and her sister, anguished, asks her, “Jane, if you go with him, when will you write?”, which is the only argument that makes her doubt. Eventually, she must give the entirely idea up, based on the fields that her happines shall never be complete as long as it will also leave his family unprotected and vulnerable to be forsaken by LeFroy´s patriarch to further misery and poverty.

Also, we have a female self steem strike when the wealthy aunt of her so-called fiancé  insults Jane in front of all her family refusing to attend Mass (Jane Austen´s father was a clergyman) for the indecent presence of a girl who had “no family, no money and no importance”, for what she bravely answers, “I have a family, money I can earn by myself and importance must be determined by other people, based on concepts you are unable to understand “, which brings tears to my eyes a thousand times more than any fictional passionate plot, as the most admirable outcry of a woman/writer/thinking human being against a hypocrite, double stardard, prejudgmental society.  Oh, and I must add, unlike many English female writers, did not cover herself beyond a male mask  – Jane Austen intentionally signed her books with her own name or with the design “written by a lady”.

Jane Austen´s discreet, elegant irony, her extremely subtile care upon each word, each line,  has always delighted me as a reader, but, as an amateur writer, I can hardly be ambitious enough to dream ever having the cynical yet hopeful (seems contradiction but is actually complex ambivalency) pen she uses. She delivers any offense wrapped withing a velvet and silk language, as well as praises her characters without any vain flattering,  using sober, modest qualifications that simply make your heart melt.  Jane Austen was true, pure, simple – nevertheless, she is never, at any moment, shallow. In the depths of her novels we can find universal and atemporal human drama,  existencial issues,  capitalism conflicts, and more.
Watch this movie – you´re about to wish there was never a happy ending possible, if the consequence of it was the absence of Emma, Elizabeth Bennet, Fanny Pride and the sisters Dashwood.   

Wild Girl!

Hello everyone! Being raised as the “perfect little girl”, “A” score in all subjects, perfectly straightened hair in only one tone, not so tight clothes, never saying the “F” word, hanging out not so late at night, sleep over only in female friends´ houses (well, that´s a lie – I was never allowed to sleep in someone else´s house except my own family! But, I guess you could already catch the idea, anyway!), NEVER, NEVER in my entire life I had this sensation I´m tasting today. And no, I did not touch any drugs, did not buy the car of the year,  did not perform sex on anyone, did not go to India with a dream and an empty suitcase. No, I just have been made… Brand new hairlights!

Yes, that´s it. At least three tones of sun bleached blonde all over my Golden Locks. Updone curly hair that screams: Here I am. I am tall, I am curly, I have spent some time (and money!) at the Hairstylist. And the most important thing it shouts: I DO NOT GIVE A DAWN for what people may say! I do what I want to, I care not if it is fashionable, out of season or so-what. I rule my own hair, as I rule my own life, the way I want, and not the way they say I should.

That´s all I´ve heard my entire life: God made you that way, you must stay that way. Don´t use that color, it´s a scandal. Comb your hair straight, it looks like you´ve just got out of bed this very minute. Men do not like artificial hair much. To hell with it all! Messy. Updone. Crazy. This is the new version of me: updone curly Carol. Nice to meet you all.

“He´s so shy” or – reasons why I don´t appreciate withdrawn men much

Hello everyone. No, I´m not a bitch who scolds insecure shy man and wishes to marry the leader of the high school team. No no no. This is just an explanation for why I have good reasons to keep myself out of the path of men who’ d rather talk to you by cell phone messages or e-mail than in person, when they insist looking at the floor and sending you psycho killer/rapist/amateur analyzing stares now and then.

Plus, I must mention, my heart belongs to someone who, in a sunny sunday afternoon, in a foreign place, among unknown people,  had the courage to say “Hello”  to a messy fierce appearence, tired, hungy and distressed young foreign woman he had never before.

Women who are shy, usually, have been brought through tough demanding parents, outstanding bros and sisters, have often been beaten by parents and/or mates, or simply had some experience who told them, “You´d better walk on unconspicuous, or you´ll get hurt”. Men who are shy, really, don´t go that way. They are usually thinking (and later, doing) things they´d better not to show.

For example, I once dated a man who would save even his words, what should I expect from feelings? Never a word of care, never a show of concern. He could find me bleeding in the middle of the street, he would only think, Damn, she owned me two dollars!



Somewhere in Time (1980)

   Somewhere in Time is one of the best love movies ever. It describes the paths of a very sensitive man (Christopher Reeve) who´s fascinated and eventually obsessed by a woman who lived in 1912 (Jane Seymor) and, already an old lady, in the vernissage of his first play, delivered him a mysterious golden watch.

Richard longs for meeting this delicate, profound, very talented actress whose picture is at the lobby of the hotel he accidently checks in. Eliza McKenna, he finds out later, had died the very night she met him and gave him the watch, and each day more he is possessed by the idea he has to go back in time in order to meet her, in that same hotel, in june 1912. Through harsh sessions of self hyponosis, Richard arrives in the time and place he has to, in order to find his beloved soulmate. It is very interesting to follow how he deals with the cultural issues in a oddly natural and even funny way, and the way he seduces his sweetheart within no more than two days, achieving even sexual acquaitance.

The very moment which restrains both lovers to move on with their respective lives and regard all romance as a flash dream is the intimate act share. After that, there is no turning back, their hearts, bodies and souls absolutelly delivered and surrendered to the passionate and tender love who traps them together, for ever, but death will not tear their apart, all the opposite, it will gather them for once and for all of times..

After the passionate tears and lonely sobs, it comes to mind, how some things simply are not meant to be. Skeptical mind. Or, maybe, are mean to be against anything: time, space, cultural issues. Romantic eye. That is just what mostly adore about love stories – possible diverging  interpretations.

Whatever you choose to beleive, that is the answer.