My Obnoxious Calmness

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Black Swan – a Bordeline Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Personality Disorder Dynamic Interpretation


Back Swan – the Narcissitic and BPD Dynamics Interpretation

It took me nearly a decade, but I finally understood the whole of the events presented during the plot of Black Swan and I am very proud to write this review. Keep in mind, however, that I am not a professional psychologist or personality disorders connoisseuse. I am merely offering you the way I got to understand what happened in the movie according to my limited recent studies about Narcissists and people who suffer from Bordeline Personality Disorder.

The movie begins with its main character, Nina, starred by Natalie Portman, having a dream of herself dancing the Prologue of the wordly known ballet The Swan Lake, the most desired role of all ballerinas. It is not, however, the usual presentation of it, immortalized by the Russian dancing company The Bolshoi – it is an atypical form of it, through a scene of seduction, transformation and pain. Nina then appears in bed with her eyes wide open, leaving a doubt as to what she foresaw was indeed a dream or a premonition of what’s about to take place.

We are introduced to Nina’s mother, Erika, played by Barbara Hershey. Erika is a Narcissist, and what’s even worse, a full blown one. She fits almost all criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder of MS-5 – Erika lacks empathy, has no respect for boundaries, is prone to micro managing, is physically and perhaps even sexually abusive towards Nina, treats her issue as mini-me, projects all her failures into the daughter, controls absolutely everything about Nina, from her schedule to the size of her nails. Erika undermines Nina many times, affirming she would not know how to dance without Erika’s help, refusing to beleive Nina would be able to make a great job as the Swan Queen and saying more than once the role is ‘too much for her’. Erika seems particularly upset that Nina is a more achieved dancer than herself and verbally blames the pregnancy for her lack of success, the lack of accountability for one’s shortcomings being another major key of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

On her way to the company by subway, Nina has an episode of what we may call a dissociation process. She becomes intrigued with a passenger dressed in black, using earplugs and a very similar hairstyle of her own. It seems like she is seeing her own face into someone else’s body. We will later know this very girl Nina was obsessing with in the morning is the new ballerina of the company, Lilly (represented by Mila Kunis). At the company, we are introduced to the director of the theather: Thomas, a French, eccentric and tough art manager (portraited by Vincent Cassel). He is very similar to Erika in his aggresive approach, lack of empathy, boundaries issues and sense of entitlement. A very important episode happens when we learn the prima ballerina of the theather, Beth McEntire (played by Wynona Ryder) is to be replaced by a ‘new face’, who will be given the oportunity of embodying the role Nina dreamed of: the Swan Queen. Clearly angry and dissatisfied with her dismissal, Beth wrecks her stage room and leaves in a stormy manner, frightening Nina, who takes the chance to enter her room and steal a red lipstick. Later, on the audition for the role of Swan Queen, Nina is startled by the sudden entrance of Lilly, being unable to finish the piece of the Black Swan, a very complicated one for her, since she is obsessed with control and mastering perfectly symmetrical movements, while the Black Swan requires more spontaneity and unpredictibility. Again, on her way home, Nina has another dissociation seeing her face on the girl who passes by her walking in the opposite direction. It seems like Nina is daydreaming about the person she could be without her mother’s heavy influence on her looks, choices and career. The longing, confusion and sadness in Nina’s eyes are painful to witness. She seems to be lost in a world full of possibilities while she has to stay in a path choosen for her out of her own inclinations.

At home, Erika ‘comforts’ Nina for apparently failing in the audition, offering her back handed compliments and suggesting Nina would fit a supportive role more accordingly to her (lack of) skills, the Big Swan. She plays Swan Lake Suite n.2 at the music box close to Nina’s bed and leaves. Erika is a passive aggresive scheming Narcissist who cannot stand the youth, beauty and success of her daughter. Growing up in an environment deprived of unconditional love, affection linked to achievments and expected to become a mirror (in minor scale) of her mother, Nina has developed a conflicted sense of self, unstable mood and troubled sense of validation. It is also implied Nina has eating disorders (she is seen throwing up when nervous and is called for losing much weight) and inflicts self harm scratching her back until it bleeds. These are traits commonly linked to Bordeline Personality Disorder.

The next day, Nina begins the transformation into the Black Swan. On her way to work, still on the subway (interestingly, she chooses not to do it under her mother’s watch) she uses the red lipstick stolen from Beth’s room, allows her hair to fall loosely (unlike the ballerina bun she usually goes by) and walks to Thomas’ office to ask for the part. With his poor sense of boundaries and huge entitlement, Thomas kisses her forcefully and is repelled by a bite the black swan metaphorically performs – since Nina is fragile, chaste and more prone to endure in silence any level of abuse, we can only attribute this sudden fight back impulse to the character she is starting to incorporate.

Nina is given the role of the Swan Queen, much to Erika’s dismay and envy of ballerina colleagues. “My daughter, the Swan Queen!” cries a supposedly delighted Erika, with a glimpse of contempt in her cold stare. Notice the careful choice of words – “My (possessive) daughter (how is she related to me), the Swan Queen (not an achievement, not a congratulation, not even a compliment, the mere statement of a role)!”.

Unfortunately for Nina, she will be torn between the manipulations and abuse of two narcissists – one pushing her towards vulnerability, meakness, childish behaviour and other to strenght, sensuality, agressiveness, lust. Nina’s already split pernonality will be torn between these two conflicted handlers and, unable to keep the pace, she will pay the ultimate price to achieve the external validation she desires. It is a very powerful, raw and thrilling masterpiece. Highly recommended.

Have You Ever Meet a Narcissist?

Dear readers, how are you?

Let’s talk dirty today, shall we? Let’s talk about the most filthy, ugly, disgusting, scariest creature …





Obviously, they do not present themselves such as these or we would run to the hills straightaway, they prefer a more subtle approach, such as



(The Humphreys: “We are soooooooooooooo nice to everyone! We are so decent, ethical, humble and honest! The fact we lie, cheat, manipulate and deceive others is a mere consequence of how badly they treat us! After all, we are entitled to everything and held accountable for nothing.”)


(Cersei Lanniester: “I am a queen and my offspring are to be the rulers of this kingdom, even if they are illegitimate. My children are entitled to everything and I will go to unspeakable lenghts to maintain their status. The issues of other royal families, on the other hand, must be treated as mortal enemies and be eliminated with no empathy whatsoever).


or even, maybe


(Kurt Cobain: “Fuck off your standards concerning rock stars, I will not shave, wash my hair, wear fancy leather jackets or compose songs with rhymes. My opinions matter, your feelings don’t. Also, being unable to cope with daily reality and my high dosis of paranoia about my wife, which would be justified since I am far more interested on drugs rather than caring about her, I will overdose and die aged 27 leaving my baby daughter orphaned because my self inflicted pain matters to me much more than her welfare.”)


Yes, these are all narcissists or at least characters with high narcissistic traits. Idolised by many and portraited as examples to be considerated, they make life of those around them the very image of Hell. Is there a narc beside you right now? If you are unhappy on an unexplainable stress level and still cannot put your finger on what causes your misery exactly, odds are the is one near you, stirring drama and making those around them as miserable as they are.

Have you met your pet narcissist today just yet?

Jim Morrison was right – PEOPLE ARE STRANGE

Have you ever wondered why you don’t fit? Why is it so hard to socialize? Why no matter what you do/think/say it is all perceived as differently than common sense would rule? Well, I finally have got the perfect answer to that and it has been in front of me written on the wall (or rather in the title of one of my favorite songs) all along: That’s because PEOPLE ARE STRANGE.


What happens is a general lack of understanding for all those do not blend in. The figure who does not smile, nod often and repeat the shallow, meaningless and official politically correct speech is soon cornered and likely to become an outsider.


Oddly, most of the idolized figures are themselves outsiders: Jesus Christ, Jacob, Moses, Mohammed and even Adam. Pop culture is full of them and rock has been made almost exclusively from them. Johnny Cash, Madonna, Lady Gaga, Ozzy Osbourne and my obvious reference, Jim Morrison. And why do they stand up above others? Because they did not give a fig trying to blen in, embracing their non conventional personas and refusing to sacrifice their true selves to the benefit of those who knows better.


So, if you are strange, fear not, so are people.